The Lily Chronicles: The Lady Means Business
by PR Jones
Summary: Can a lady bounty hunter get the best of our boys? This is the first in a series.


27

**The Lily Chronicles:**

**The Lady Means Business**

Kid Curry woke up in a soft, cozy bed with the scent of clean, sweet-smelling sheets surrounding him. His head rested on several large, plumped pillows encased in pristine white cotton with lace trim. It had been a long time since he had experienced such comfort. He stretched luxuriously, or tried to, anyway, and noticed one small problem.

An angry, searing throb beating an insistent tattoo on the inside of his skull. With a groan, he reached up to rub the ache away, and discovered another small problem. He was securely handcuffed to the ornate, brass railing of the bed.

He dropped back onto the pillows, cursing as a sharp pain stabbed through his head. He lay still a moment and the pain dulled to its former, tight throb.

What had he done now?

Moving his head slowly and more carefully this time, he glanced around the room. It was small, but nice. Almost cozy, Kid thought, remotely. Along with the full size brass bed he lay in, there was a large, mahogany armoire, a dresser and changing screen, several chairs, and an end table next to the bed. It was all vaguely familiar, but he couldn't remember how he'd gotten here. He was the only occupant.

Which brought up yet another small problem. Where was Heyes?

Kid fought down a rising panic. They'd been together at the saloon…

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"Well, Joshua," Kid said, pushing his chair back from the table where they'd been playing poker for the last couple of hours. He tossed down his cards which contained nothing more than a pair of twos. "I'm about tapped out. I think I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead."

The dark-haired man next to him nodded. "Sure thing, Thaddeus. I think I'll stick with it for a few more hands." He grinned at the three other men sitting around the table, all of whom were starting to look a little anxious. "I do believe lady luck is startin' to smile on me a bit."

Of course, lady luck always smiled on Hannibal Heyes while he was playing poker, but these other yokels didn't know that.

Kid stood up and tipped his hat politely. "Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure." He turned and headed to the bar. It was a busy night and the saloon was packed, which always made Kid a little itchy. Too many people made it difficult to easily reach for his gun, if necessary. He was surprised that a small hole-in-the-wall town like Bugtussle, would have such a busy saloon. He and Heyes had been here for three days now and everything had been pretty quiet, at least during the day. Downright boring, really. But things apparently picked up quite a bit at night. Guess there's not much else to do here but drink and gamble, thought Curry.

Kid ordered a whiskey and turned to watch the crowd. And to watch Heyes' back. It's what he did best. Heyes had the brains, Kid had the gun and Kid was fine with that arrangement. It had gotten them out of trouble many times over the years.

Kid looked over at Heyes and grinned. Having just won the hand, Heyes was scraping in a large pile of money. Curry could see the twinkle in his cousin's eye from across the room. Heyes was always at his happiest when playing, and winning at, cards.

Kid decided to order just one more drink. It was good whiskey, not the water-downed version they'd found so often in small towns like this one, but he was feeling tired tonight and didn't want to overdo it. He and Heyes had spent the last two weeks helping out on the ranch of a recent acquaintance of theirs. They'd met Hatch Murphy on a stagecoach ride to Yuma a few weeks back and had found him to be a pleasant and easy-going companion. Hatch had received a new herd of cattle and needed some help settling them in, having come up short-handed after several of his crew had quit. He offered the boys a job and they happily accepted. It had been good pay, but it had been bone-aching work that had Kid wondering yet again if the amnesty was worth it. Not that Curry minded helping out a friend in need, or even a little hard work now and then, but little was the key word here and cracking a safe was a lot easier --at least for Heyes -- and it certainly paid a lot better.

Kid sipped his whiskey, savoring every drop and feeling mighty relaxed as it slowly warmed his insides. One more couldn't hurt, he thought to himself, since all he planned on doing was going straight to bed.

He caught the bartender's eye and pointed to his glass. The man nodded and, bringing over the bottle, poured him one more. Kid thanked him and placed the last of his money on the bar making sure there was enough for a nice tip. After all, Heyes was winning big tonight. Why not be a little generous?

"Hey, handsome, you all alone?"

Kid turned at the sound of the husky, female voice and his jaw dropped at the vision in front of him. Green eyes, creamy skin, golden-red hair and all the right curves wrapped up nicely in red satin. The look she was giving him was enough to have Curry blushing all the way down to his toes.

"Uh…ma'am," he said, tipping his hat and feeling like a tongue-tied 12-year-old.

She smiled with a pair of the most tempting, rose-colored lips Kid had seen in a long time. "Buy me a drink?" she asked, her tone filled with an invitation no sane man would ever turn down…

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Kid felt a warm flush spread down his body at the thought of the alluring redhead. It also made him realize that along with being handcuffed in a strange bed, he was buck naked under the sheet. He looked around and spotted his clothes on the floor near the dresser in the far corner.

What _had_ happened last night?

And where was Heyes?

"Damn it!" He wrenched at the cuffs, throwing all his strength into it, shaking the bed so hard it knocked against the wall causing the lamp and an empty whiskey bottle sitting on the bedside table to fall and shatter on the floor.

He sank back against the pillows, his head hammering so hard from the exertion that he didn't notice the door opening.

"Tsk, tsk, lover, mind your temper. I can hear you all the way down the hall."

Curry's head jerked up at the familiar voice. It was the redhead from last night. And, yes, she was as beautiful as he remembered. Even a painful head and a hazy mind could not hide that fact. What was her name? Oh, yeah…Lily.

He put on his most charming smile. She _had _called him lover, after all. That was a good sign, wasn't it? And maybe the handcuffs were simply her idea of a little rough play. Damn, he sure wished he could remember. It wasn't like him to get all liquored up and forget everything.

"Howdy, ma'am," Curry said, polite as always. "Didn't mean to disturb anyone. Woke up a bit out of sorts, I guess." He rattled the cuffs, pointedly.

She returned his smile and Kid had a sudden flash of those luscious lips pressed tightly against his own.

She was modestly dressed--unlike he remembered her last night--in a delicately-flowered, pale pink blouse and a rich chocolate-brown riding skirt. As she approached the bed, she started tugging the pins from her hair. Kid was mesmerized as the mass of red curls fell about her shoulders.

"What a night we had last night, Thaddeus," she said, pausing at the side of the bed. Kid heated up as her eyes trailed down his bare chest and lingered at the edge of the sheet.

"I…uh…imagine so," he said, his voice husky. "How's about you turn me loose and we'll see what kind of morning we can have?"

She chuckled, low and inviting. Hiking up her skirts, she climbed on the bed and straddled him. "Well, now," she said, teasingly. "That sounds mighty invitin'. How's a nice girl like me supposed to turn down an offer like that?'"

"Beggin' your pardon, ma'am, but who says you're supposed to turn it down?" Kid was definitely feeling mighty warm now. He might not remember last night, but he certainly wouldn't forget this morning.

She leaned down. "Ma'am? Why so formal this morning, lover? That's not what you were calling me last night." She pressed her lips lightly against his, her breath sweet and warm. Kid lifted his head wanting to deepen the kiss.

She allowed that for a moment, then pulled back to look at him. Was that a hint of sadness in her clear, green eyes?

"Oh, Kid," she said. "You are far too tempting. And those baby blues of yours…" She let out a deep sigh. "It's such a waste."

Curry's heart was pounding and his poor, aching head was still spinning from the kiss, so it took him a second to register the fact that she'd called him Kid.

"Huh…?" was all he was able to articulate as a cold shiver doused the heat she'd stirred up.

"I mean all this…" She ran her hands down his chest, slipping them tantalizingly along the edge of the sheet, "…locked away for 20 years. It's just a waste, I tell you." She began unbuttoning the top of her blouse. "It's mighty warm in here. Is it warm in here to you?"

"Ma'am…uh…Lily," Kid began. He couldn't seem to get his brain going. An all-to-familiar feeling of dread began a slow crawl down his spine. She'd called him 'Kid'. Could it be a mistake? He did get that a lot considering his boyish looks. She wiggled her hips against his, further muddling his thoughts.

"But time's gettin' away from me, lover." Lily leaned down and gave him another lingering kiss. "Right now, I'm expectin' a visitor." Reluctantly, she stood up and walked away from the bed, continuing to unbutton her blouse.

"Lily," Kid said, trying one last time to gather his scattered thoughts. "I must admit to drawin' a blank on last night, but I'm sure that we can work out any misunderstandin'. If I misbehaved in any way, I sure do apologize, but I've got to ask you to undo these cuffs." He tugged against his restraints, a little desperately this time.

Across the room, she removed her blouse. "I'm afraid I can't do that, Mr. Curry."

"Ma'am," he said, trying to keep his voice steady, "you must be mistaken. My name is Jones. Thaddeus Jones."

She laughed and stepped out of her skirt. "I know who you are, darlin'." She stood there boldly in her petticoats and Kid couldn't help but notice how incredibly sexy she looked. Her lush curves, barely covered in white lace and ruffles, made his head feel a bit mushy. "And I know who your friend, Mr. Smith is, too. Or should I say, Mr. Heyes?"

This remark completely cleared away the mush. Kid swore silently. Where was Heyes' silver tongue when he needed it? Kid never knew what to do in this kind of situation. Back before the offer of amnesty he probably would have pulled out his gun and solved it his way. Of course, he couldn't reach for his gun now, and, peering down at the sheet, he knew it wasn't strapped to his hip.

Kid tugged helplessly against the cuffs. He glanced over at the screen behind which his captor now stood tossing out all that lacy underwear. Mush threatened him again. If Heyes ever found out about this, Kid knew he would never hear the end of it.

"Ma'am," Kid said, taking a deep breath, determined to do his best Heyes imitation. He certainly didn't have the silver tongue that his cousin had, but he'd seen plenty of times how Heyes had used it. He would start by flattering her, trying to appeal to her feminine side...

"Lily," he said, turning on the charm, thinking it was too bad he didn't have any dimples. "You seem like a reasonable woman to me, educated and all...and…uh…might I say, right pretty, too…"

She snorted in a most unfeminine manner.

Kid ignored this and continued on, "…so I'm sure my friend, Mr. Smith, and I could, if given the chance, convince you that…"

Kid's words trailed off as she stepped out from behind the screen. She was no longer the modestly attired woman who'd walked in the room ten minutes ago. She was now clad in a light blue, button-down shirt, a well-worn leather vest and a pair of tight jeans tucked neatly into a pair of shiny, black boots. Her golden red curls tumbled gloriously down her back, but the thing that really caught the Kid's eye was the six shooter strapped low to her left hip and tied-down gunslinger style around her thigh.

She smiled, delighted at his evident surprise.

"I'm sorry about the previous deception, Mr. Curry, but, after all, one's feminine wiles are often one's best weapon." She made her way back to the bed. "I mean, in my line of work, that is." She took out her gun, spun it swiftly several times and slipped it smoothly back into its holster.

Kid immediately recognized a good opponent when he saw one. She was fast. Probably not as fast as he was, but still fast in her own right. And he recognized something else too…

"Bounty hunter." It was a statement and not a question.

Her full lips curved in obvious satisfaction as she stood over him. "Right on the money, Mr. Curry. $20,000 worth, as a matter of fact."

Curry looked sharply at her. If she was talking about $20,000 then that meant she must have Heyes stashed somewhere. Or had she already turned him in?

"Where's Heyes?" he demanded. No reason now to deny who they were.

She sat down next to him on the bed and gave him a small pout. "You know, Kid," she said, ignoring his question. "It was very hard to decide between you two." She ran a finger down his chest to tickle his belly button.

Okay, she had a really sexy pout and that finger was starting to muddle his senses again. Stay focused, Kid, he told himself.

She continued, giving him an impish look. "Do I pick Hannibal Heyes with those soulful, brown eyes and those irresistible dimples or Kid Curry with all that curly, blond hair and those to-die-for baby blues? It was quite a dilemma, I tell you. But in the end, Kid," she straddled him again; "I guess your boyish charm won me over." She wiggled her hips suggestively.

Kid couldn't suppress a low groan.

"Too bad we don't have a little more time." She leaned down and brushed a soft kiss across his lips. "Maybe finish where we left off." She sighed and sat up. "But, like I said, I'm expectin' company and I'm guessin' he'll be here any minute."

Oh, great, Kid thought. She must be talking about the sheriff.

"Now, c'mon, Lily, it don't have to be this way. Get these off me and I'll make sure we have all the time in the world." He rattled the cuffs, knowing he sounded desperate, but damn it, he was feeling mighty desperate. He had no idea where Heyes was or even if he was still alive, and now the law was going to walk through the door any second.

She looked at him, thoughtfully. "Well, now, Kid, that's a mighty temptin' offer. Ridin' all over the west with you, sharin' your bedroll. That could be a lot of fun," she said. "But what about poor Heyes? He'd be left all alone…No, Kid, I don't think it would work."

She looked at him with that sexy pout again. This time it just made him mad.

He shook the bed harder. "Tell me where Heyes is," he demanded.

She looked at him in mock surprise. "There's that temper again, Kid. It's gonna get you in trouble one day..." she leaned forward, her lips inches from his, "…and that's a promise."

She kissed him hard, fast, and deep. She pulled back and he'd barely caught his breath when she stuffed a wad of cotton in his mouth. He gave a muffled shout as she quickly tied a bandanna around his head.

She jumped up and watched him as he strained against the cuffs, muscles bulging. The whole bed shuddered and for a second it appeared he might actually break loose, but the railing proved too strong.

Kid tried shouting through the gag, but only ended up choking. He sank back against the pillows and had to settle for giving Lily a baleful glare.

The sad look Lily gave him appeared to be almost genuine this time. "You know, Kid, I really hate to do this. The others I turned in deserved it, but you and Heyes…well, you're not that bad. Kinda sweet, actually." She looked at his angry face regretfully. "But a girls' gotta' make a livin' somehow."

Footsteps sounded outside in the hallway. Lily's eyes lit up eagerly. She laid a finger across her lips and made a shushing sound. Not that Kid could've made much noise anyway.

"Wouldn't want to spoil the surprise," she whispered. She went to stand beside the door and Kid's eyes widened as she pulled out her six shooter.

There was a soft knock.

"Who is it?" Lily called out in a sweet, musical tone. She winked at the Kid.

"It's Joshua, ma'am."

Kid's blood ran cold as he recognized Heyes' voice. Lily was setting him up. He struggled in the bed trying to somehow warn his partner.

"Come in," Lily replied. She backed further away from the door, gun in hand.

"No," Kid tried to yell, but only a muffled grunt got past the gag.

The door opened and Heyes walked in, flashing those lady-killer dimples of his. He stopped in shock when he saw the Kid cuffed to the bed. It only took a second for the sight of his cousin bound and gagged to register and for Heyes to reach for his Colt, but it was one second too long. The click of a gun hammer and the feel of cold steel against his right temple caused Heyes to freeze.

"So glad you could make it, Mr. Heyes. Now if you'll be so kind as to drop that gun, I'd be very happy to let you join our little party."

Heyes turned slowly to where Lily stood and found the gun aimed right between his eyes.

"Ma'am, there must be some mistake," Heyes started, his silver tongue automatically kicking in. "Like I told you earlier down in the saloon, my name is Joshua Smith and…"

Kid interrupted with a muffled comment and shook his head emphatically.

Heyes turned. "Now, Thaddeus, how was I supposed to know?" he asked, looking stung.

Kid said something again, louder and punctuating it with a strong jerk of the handcuffs.

Heyes sighed heavily and said, "I told you the last time this happened…"

A scowl from Curry and more muffled words.

"Wait a minute," said Heyes. "That was not my fault…"

Lily watched the interaction between the two men in bewilderment. "Stop!" she shouted, refusing to let them continue in their seemingly one-sided and completely unintelligible argument. "While you two are very cute and charming, I don't have the time for this. Mr. Heyes, please drop your gun and go sit down." She motioned to a high-backed, wooden chair near the bed. "And no sudden moves please. I do know how to use this." Her gun hand was unwavering.

Heyes looked at the Kid who shrugged and nodded.

Heyes reached for his gunbelt.

"Slowly," Lily warned.

Heyes dropped it very carefully to the floor.

"Now, move," she said, kicking the gunbelt across the room.

Heyes glanced at his cousin as he passed the bed. "Thaddeus, you sure do have a way with the ladies."

Curry pierced him with a look meaner than a cold snake.

Lily gave Heyes a none-too-gentle push toward the chair. "Sit down and shut up, please, Mr. Heyes, before I gag you, too."

Heyes obediently sat down. "Ma'am…" he started.

"Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am," said Lily. "You two are the most disgustingly polite outlaws I've ever come across."

"Why, thank you, ma'am," Heyes said. "We try our best."

"Well, stop it," she replied. "If you call me ma'am one more time, I'm gonna shoot you both deader than my dear, old Uncle Eugene, who, by the way, is very, very dead having run smack into the sharp end of a fireplace poker while I happened to be tendin' the fire." She cocked the gun menacingly.

"Ma'am...er…Lily," Heyes said, blanching slightly. "No need for violence. This is just a simple misunderstandin'. As I was saying earlier my name is Joshua Smith and my…uh…shackled partner over there, is Thaddeus Jones…"

"The misunderstandin' is entirely on your part, I'm afraid," she said, leaning closer. "So, I'm gonna be kind enough to clear everything up, once and for all. You, Mr. Smith, are really Hannibal Heyes, and your shackled partner over there, is really Kid Curry. And I'm gonna turn you both in for a big, fat reward. Are you understandin' now, Mr. Heyes?"

Heyes gave a slightly nervous chuckle. "Now, Lily, what makes you think that we _are_ Heyes and Curry? Would two such notorious outlaws let themselves get caught…"

"Caught how, Mr. Heyes?" Lily interrupted, coldly. "By a woman? Is that so impossible?"

"Why, no ma'am...er…Lily. All I was gonna say was that Heyes and Curry wouldn't let themselves get caught so easily. I mean Hannibal Heyes is rumored to be a genius when it comes to eluding the law. And Kid Curry, well, the Kid is the fastest draw in the West. Can't nobody sneak up on him." Kid made an assenting sound. "Or so they say," Heyes added, quickly.

Kid gave a rude snort.

"Now," continued Heyes, shooting the Kid a silencing look, "they would both have to be really stupid to be taken in like this. And if they were that stupid they'd'a been caught a long time ago."

"Mr. Heyes," Lily said, smirking. "How's about you tell me how stupid two notorious outlaws are when they go around calling themselves by their real names where anybody and their dead dogs can hear 'em. It ain't gonna take long before someone figures out just who they really are."

Heyes frowned. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean is, you boys got big mouths. And you don't know when to shut 'em. I heard you call him Kid," she said, nodding towards Curry, "and I heard him call you Heyes, more than once. How's that for stupid, darlin'?" She smiled sweetly at him.

Heyes opened his mouth and then closed it, his silver tongue temporarily silenced.

"Aw, c'mon now, Mr. Heyes. Don't feel bad. You can't be a genius all the time." She reached over and ruffled his soft brown hair. "You are kinda precious, though, you know that?"

Heyes tried again. "Lily, I'm sure we can work out something" He smiled, unleashing the full effect of his dimples on her. "My partner and I…"

Curry tried again to say something.

Lily shrugged. "Your _partner_ has already tried to bribe me, Mr. Heyes, and with quite a generous offer, I might add. I had to turn him down, but I was mighty tempted." She turned and winked at Curry. "He does look so cute all tied up and helpless, don't he?"

Kid rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, real cute," Heyes agreed. Kid didn't miss the sarcasm lacing his cousin's voice.

Neither did Lily. "Now, Mr. Heyes…"

"Smith," interrupted Heyes.

Lily ignored him. "There's no call for you to get your feelin's hurt. Why, I'm sure you would look just as cute all roped up and naked." She pondered the outlaw a moment and, suddenly, her eyes lit up. "I have a great idea! Why don't we find out?"

Kid gave a muffled snort of what sounded like laughter.

"Whoa, now," said Heyes, quickly. "No need to be hasty, Lily. Why don't we talk this out?"

Lily, keeping the gun aimed straight at Heyes' head, walked behind the chair. She bent down closer to Heyes' ear and whispered, "Sorry, darlin', but talkin' time is done. I'm afraid this is going to hurt."

Kid tried to shout a warning, but it was too late. Heyes twisted just as the butt of Lily's gun came down hard on the back of his head. Everything went black as he slumped lifelessly in the chair.

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Heyes woke with a head throbbing so hard he thought there was no possible way his skull could still be in one piece. He opened his eyes slowly, but closed them quickly as the room swam sickeningly in front of him. He immediately regretted that extra celebratory bottle of whiskey he'd had after winning the last big poker game of the evening.

"Heyes, you okay?"

It took Heyes a second to remember where he was. He tried to focus on the familiar voice. "Kid?"

"Yeah, it's me."

Heyes groaned. "Now you're talking. What happened?"

"She cold-cocked you."

Heyes reached up to rub his aching head, but realized he couldn't move.

"Don't bother. She's got you trussed up good." Kid rattled the cuffs. "She means business, Heyes."

"I don't believe this," said Heyes. He tugged at the ropes holding him to the chair.

"Well, at least you still got all your clothes on," said Kid.

Heyes looked up at his cousin with a faint grin. "Yeah, how _did_ that happen, Kid?"

Curry rolled his eyes. "I wish I knew."

"You don't remember anything?" asked Heyes, looking around the room.

Curry thought a minute. "Well, I was in the saloon with you playing cards. I was losin' and you was winnin'…"

"That's usually the way it goes."

Kid ignored that remark. "I went to the bar, had a couple of drinks and then there was Lily, wearin' that red satin dress. You know, the one that showed…"

"Kid," Heyes snapped, then groaned at a sudden, sharp pain behind his left ear where Lily had hit him. He was going to have a huge knot there for at least a week, maybe two. "Stay focused. What happened after you left the saloon with her?"

Kid shook his head and tried to sit up. It did little to relieve the ache spreading up his arms. "It's all kind of hazy. Too many whiskeys, I suppose."

Heyes frowned at his partner. "You were drinkin", but I don't recall you havin' that many. No more than usual, anyway. Forgettin' ain't been a problem with you before, Kid."

Kid looked concerned. "Maybe I'm gettin' old. Life on the run wears you out real fast, you know."

"No, it ain't that," said Heyes. "I think maybe she drugged you."

"Drugged me!" Kid shouted. "What makes you say that?"

Heyes nodded to the broken bottle on the floor. "Did she give you something to drink when you came back to the room?"

Curry settled back against the railings, frowning. "Well…," he said, slowly, "now that you mention it, she did have that extra bottle of whiskey. Said she kept it for special occasions." He looked at Heyes. "You think she put something in it?"

"Well, how else could she have cuffed you up like that, Kid? Unless…" Heyes said, giving his cousin a sly look. "Is there something you're not tellin' me?"

"Real funny, Heyes," Kid said, sarcastically. He lay back on the pillow. "Why does this always happen to me?"

"You do seem to have a gift for it," Heyes said, wriggling around in the chair, testing the ropes. "Remember Rosie, that shopkeeper up in Kings Creek? She had you stripped and…"

"Shut up, Heyes" Curry growled. "You ain't exactly the golden child, yourself, you know. You haven't forgotten the widow Jenkins, have you? She had you drunk and hog tied, plannin' on marryin' you come hell or high water. And she woulda' if I hadn't come to the rescue."

Heyes gave a small shudder. "Yeah, I owe you on that one," he said. "No woman should have shoulders that big."

"So, you got any ideas how to get us out of this one, Heyes?"

Heyes looked at Curry, hope lighting his dark brown eyes. "Maybe she's just plannin' on marryin' one of us?"

Curry snorted in disgust. "C'mon, get serious, Heyes. My gun ain't no help here. All we got now is your silver tongue and you better come up with somethin' fast 'cause Lily's gonna' be bringin' the sheriff through that door any minute now.

She ain't some addle-brained widow like Mrs. Jenkins."

"Addle-brained?" Heyes said, affronted.

Kid rolled his eyes. "Well, she wanted to marry _you_, didn't she?" He gave a frustrated tug at the cuffs. "Heyes, Lily ain't messin' around. She's a bounty hunter."

Heyes' eyes widened in shock.

Kid nodded. "And I seen her handle a gun. She's good, Heyes."

Heyes' sobered up fast. If the Kid said she could handle a gun, well, then, she could handle a gun.

"Okay," Heyes said, all trace of levity gone. "She's a bounty hunter and she's good with a gun, so she must have done this before."

"Yeah," said Kid. "Coupla' times at least, or so she said. She knows what she's doin'."

"Maybe," said Heyes, thoughtfully, staring off into space. "But what if she don't?"

"Don't what?" asked Curry, puzzled.

Heyes focused back on the Kid. "What if she don't know what she's doin'?"

"Huh?" said Kid.

"Well, let's look at the situation, Kid. She snags you first, has her wicked way with you…"

"Heyes," Kid said, a warning tone in his voice.

Heyes ignored him and continued. "…cuffs you down and gets your gun out of the way before comin' after me."

"You're right, Heyes, but that makes me think that she does know what she's doin'. I mean it worked, right? She got us and we ain't goin' nowhere fast."

"All true, Kid, but why go after us one at a time? Wouldn't it just be easier to ambush us both, especially if she really does know how to use a gun? It would certainly save time." He twisted in the chair, still tugging at the ropes. "I think she can't handle us both together. One woman against two such strong men as ourselves? She wouldn't stand a chance."

"Well, she managed somehow, Heyes, 'cause here we are. Anyway, it don't matter. All she's gotta do is get that sheriff in here. I'm sure _he _can handle both of us."

"Well, you're right about that, I suppose," Heyes said, nodding somberly. "It was just a thought. But," he went on, his face lighting up with a grin, "I am thinkin' you had one whiskey too many, Kid, if you can't remember the barkeep tellin' us the sheriff was outta town."

Kid jerked his head up, hope flaring in his bright blue eyes. "That's right! Something about a bank robbery up north. Was it Alpine?"

"Abneyville," said Heyes.

"Yeah, Abneyville," said Kid, excitedly. "That's a good two days ride from here!" Then his eyes dimmed. "But, Heyes, he must've left a deputy in charge."

Heyes grin grew even wider. "Now, Kid, how many really smart deputies have we run into over the years?"

Kid thought a moment and grinned. "Well, now, Heyes, as I recollect, we ain't run across a whole lot of smart ones."

Which was the truth. In all their time on the run, many of their escapes had taken place while in the custody of an erstwhile, though rather ineffective, deputy. It almost seemed a prerequisite for the job. Not to say there weren't _some_ competent ones; they _had_ run across a few of those, but if their luck held out, and it usually did, they might get out of this yet.

Kid lay back against the pillow feeling a little bit better. It wasn't really a plan, but it was something. "So, what do we do now, Heyes? Wait for the deputy?"

Heyes' grin was so bright this time that Kid thought for a second to shade his eyes. He'd seen that smile before, but it wasn't always good. "Heyes…?"

"Now, Kid, did I say we should sit and wait?" His dimple flashing, he slowly brought his hands forward, free and untied.

"Heyes!" Kid shouted, excitedly, jumping up in the bed. Or at least jumping up as much as he could while handcuffed to the railings. "I shoulda' known! Hurry up and get these things off!"

Heyes's smile dimmed a bit. "I ain't got no key, Kid."

"You can pick the lock, Heyes. I know you can. Now get these off'a me." He punctuated that last remark with a savage jerk on the cuffs.

"Now, Kid, I think…"

"Oh, no, Heyes, don't be thinkin'. You get outta that chair and…"

Loud footsteps sounded outside the door. Heyes quickly slipped his hands behind his back as the door slammed open and Lily came in steaming and cursing.

"Damn rat bastard of a deputy…!"

Kid's blue eyes caught Heyes' brown ones as they both tried to keep a straight face.

She picked up a vase and flung it across the room, shattering it against the far wall. "Lousy, stinkin'…" She swung around looking for something else to throw. Her eyes lit on the water pitcher next to the bed. "…no-good, pig-headed…"

The pitcher joined the vase with a loud crash. "…imbecile of a man!" She whirled to face her prisoners. "What are you two grinnin' at?"

Heyes quickly ducked as an ashtray came hurtling towards him, barely skimming past his head and slamming into the wall behind him.

"Hey, watch it!" Heyes cautiously sat up, wary of more flying objects.

"Ohhhh….you…!" At a loss for words she stamped her foot in an unintentionally adorably feminine way. The boys glanced at each other feeling that somehow fate was tilting back in their direction. Heyes gave the Kid a subtle nod.

Kid straightened, letting the sheet slip a bit. "Now, Lily, calm down and tell us what happened." He tried for a soothing tone, but was having trouble keeping a trace of laughter out of it. "It can't be that bad."

Lily swept up another vase and pitched it straight at the Kid's head.

"Whoa!" he yelled, pulling aside just in time to avoid being clobbered. The vase shattered against the railing, scattering broken bits into the bed. "Now, wait a minute…"

"You smug son-of-a-bitch!" She strode toward the bed. "Both of you!" She pinned Heyes with a look that would make the hair on a bearskin rug stand up. "You two go through life as easy as you please, doin' whatever you want."

"Well, now I wouldn't say life's been easy…" started Heyes.

But Lily wasn't listening. "No one ever treats you like you're…you're…addle-brained!"

"Addle-brained?" said Kid, with a mild chuckle. "That's your specialty, Heyes."

Heyes glowered at the Kid's amusement. "Ha, ha, very funny, Kid. I suppose you would have handled that widow differently?"

"You're darned right I woulda'. I make it a policy to stay away from a woman with a moustache to begin with."

Heyes sat up. "She did not have a moustache!" he said.

"Oh, yes, she did! What else would you call that thing sittin' there on her lip…?"

"Shut up!" Lily yelled. "You two are the most annoying men I've ever met!"

Heyes and Curry both looked at her, an exaggerated hurt expression on their faces.

"Beg pardon, ma'am…er…Lily," said Heyes, his tone contrite. "We meant no offense. I grant you that my partner here can be mighty annoyin' at times, but I'm sure he didn't mean to upset you any further."

"I am not the annoyin' one," said Kid, heatedly. "You're the one that always starts these things, Heyes. Remember that sweet little ol' lady that smacked you on the head with her umbrella?"

"I was only tryin' to help her cross the street," said Heyes.

"Yeah, but she didn't want help," said Kid. "You were scarin' her."

"I wasn't scarin' her…!"

Another loud crash interrupted their argument. Lily stood over a broken vase with her gun in her hand, fury causing her cheeks to flush a bright red. "You are both annoyin' and I'm gonna shoot both of you if you don't…shut…up!"

"Yes, ma'am,'" the boys said in unison.

Lily peered suspiciously at them. After a few moments of silence, she started pacing again.

Heyes and Curry looked at each other. Kid raised his eyebrows questioningly. Heyes gave a small shake of his head.

"Ma'am…Lily…" Heyes started in a mild tone. "Do you mind if I ask what's got you so upset? I mean, me and my partner here, are a little concerned about what's going to happen to us."

Lily whirled about, her eyes flashing. "You and your partner?" she yelled. "You and your partner are what's got me so upset."

"Ma'am, to be fair, we appear to be the victims here," Heyes gently reminded her.

"Shut up! It's your fault I can't turn you over to the sheriff!" She started pacing again. Kid couldn't help but admire her beauty even in the face of all her fury. Her tousled hair, her flushed cheeks, her heaving chest…

Curry squirmed uncomfortably in the bed, wishing for more coverage than the single, suddenly flimsy-feeling sheet. He cut his eyes towards Heyes wondering when his cousin would make his move.

"Now, Lily," Heyes said, again in his most calming voice. "How is it our fault that you can't turn us in?"

She stopped pacing and narrowed her eyes at Heyes. "Don't you dare use that tone with me, Hannibal Heyes. I'm not some little girl that needs placating."

"Ma'am…Lily…" Heyes said, managing to look completely surprised. Oh, he's good, thought Kid, as Heyes continued on in an admonishing tone. "I wouldn't do that to you."

"Oh, yes, you would. You, your partner, and that lousy deputy," she said, running her hand through her hair. "He won't even listen. I tell him I got two of the most notorious outlaws in the West tied up right here and all he does is laugh at me! Said it couldn't be true since the sheriff had ridden up to Abneyville because you two were seen robbing the bank up there!"

Heyes shot his cousin a puzzled look. Kid shrugged. It must be another pair of Heyes and Curry imitators. They'd dealt with that problem before, several times.

Lily continued her rant. "He said that I must be mistaken. That there wasn't no way a woman could capture two hardened criminals like Heyes and Curry, since no _man_ has been able to do it!" Striding across the room, she picked up a lamp and flung it against the door. It shattered, spraying glass everywhere. A small shard flew back and razored across her cheek. She cried out against the sting. Tears filled her eyes, but she fought them back.

Curry watched her struggle, saw the blood well up against that ivory skin and wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and kiss away her pain. He told himself that he was stupid to feel that way. After all, she was a bounty hunter who was about to turn them both in for a $20,000 payday! She was strong, ruthless, and even said herself that she used her feminine wiles to get what she wanted. No, she wasn't really someone he should be feeling sorry for…

But, looking at her now, all he saw was a beautiful woman wrestlin' with some mighty strong demons.

She turned her back on the boys and drew a deep, shuddering breath. "All my life, I've worked twice as hard as you lousy men, and only got half as much." She clenched her fists. "All because I'm a woman. You're either some lazy bastard's wife, a schoolmarm or a whore. There ain't much choice in between."

She spun back to give the boys an accusatory look. "But it's different for you men. You can do anything you want and nobody cares. You break the law and you're heroes. I'm sick of it!" She yanked her gun from its holster.

"Whoa, now!" Heyes cried, as both he and the Kid instinctively tried to duck out of the line of fire. "I know you're upset and all, Lily, but I'm sure we can work this out. The Kid and I are firm believers in equal rights for women."

"Yes, ma'am," said Kid, soberly. "We are equally respectful of schoolmarms and whores, and we try our best to stay away from other men's wives."

Heyes groaned. When would the Kid learn he was better off keeping his mouth shut?

Lily fixed Curry with a disbelieving stare. The Kid tugged nervously at his cuffs knowing he'd stuck his foot in his mouth once again. "Uh…I didn't mean...well…I…uh…" He sent Heyes a pleading look for support. He half-expected Lily to put a bullet right through his head, then and there. After all, the law would take him dead or alive.

Surprisingly, Lily started laughing. Slipping her gun back in its holster, she sat on the bed and lightly caressed Curry's cheek. "Gorgeous, but brainless. Kid, I do believe you could be the perfect man."

"Brainless?" Kid said. "I'm not the one…" he started to retort, angrily. Heyes caught his eye from behind her back and shook his head. He started pulling quietly at his ropes.

Kid quickly slid his gaze back to Lily. "Uh…what I mean is…that…uh…maybe I'm _not_ the one with the brains, but my heart's in the right place," he said, a little awkwardly, trying to keep her attention away from Heyes. He shifted in the bed, deliberately allowing the sheet to settle even lower across his hips. He felt no small amount of masculine pride as her eyes followed the sheet's downward slide. Kid pressed his hip firmly against her. "C'mon, Lily," he said. "There must be some way we can work this out…uh…to our mutual satisfaction."

Behind her, Heyes paused from loosening his ropes and glanced up at Curry. He raised his eyebrows mockingly. Kid ignored the look and continued to pour on the charm. "We had a great time last night, right?"

Lily smiled rather sadly. "Oh, poor Kid, you don't remember a thing, do you?" She ran her fingers lightly down his chest. "You conked out quicker than a mule-kicked cowpoke."

Heyes covered his mouth, barely repressing a snicker.

"Now, wait a minute…" Curry said, somewhat indignantly.

"It's okay, Kid, you're not the first man to fall asleep on me," Lily said, and seeing the wounded expression on his face, reached up to playfully tousle his curly hair.

"If we didn't…I mean if I…" Kid started in a confused tone. "Well…how did I end up…?" He glanced down at the sheet.

Lily laughed. "How did you end up stark naked in a strange bed? Well, Kid, I didn't say you wasn't willin'. You got a pretty strong constitution when you really want something. I must've given' you enough laudanum to drop a charging steer in its tracks, but it hardly fazed you. I thought we were actually gonna have some fun, but…no. Once your head hit that pillow, you were a goner. Went out just like that." She snapped her fingers. Sighing, she added, "Shame, really."

Kid groaned and dropped his head back against the pillow. "Damn," he said, as Heyes quietly wrapped his arm around Lily's neck and slipped her pistol out of its holster.



"That's not too tight is it?" Heyes asked, concerned. He tugged gently at the ropes that held Lily to the chair he had so recently vacated.

Lily scowled at him, refusing to answer.

"Aw, c'mon now, Lily. Don't feel bad," Heyes said. "I mean we are hardened criminals, after all. We got a few tricks up our sleeves; else they would've caught us a long time ago."

"Yeah," agreed Kid, still cuffed to the bed. He watched as Heyes finished tightening Lily's ropes. "My partner here can get us out of just about anything."

"Why, thanks for the vote of confidence, Kid," Heyes said, appreciatively. "I certainly do try my best."

"No, problem, Heyes," Kid said, amiably. "Now, how 'bout gettin' me out of these things?" He rattled the handcuffs.

Heyes raised his eyebrows. "Oh, yeah…right." He looked expectantly at their captor now turned prisoner. "Lily…?"

She pursed her lips and gave him a withering look. "If you're so great, Hannibal Heyes, why don't you get him out. Or is that too difficult for a hardened criminal such as yourself?"

"Lily…'" Kid said warningly from the bed. "Where's the key?"

"Losin' confidence in your partner, Kid? Afraid he ain't got no magic trick to free you this time?"

Kid looked at Heyes questioningly.

Heyes looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, I guess we could call a locksmith…"

Kid lunged at his cousin, wincing as the cuffs pulled him up short. "Heyes, this ain't funny. I don't want no locksmith. You get me outta this, now!"

But Heyes was having too much fun. "Now, Kid. That ain't such a bad idea. Maybe we can find a nice lady locksmith like the one that helped us in Montana. Remember her? She was real sweet." He turned to Lily. "Real sweet on the Kid, that is. Found him irresistible, she did."

"Heyes…"

"Course, we'll have to cover you up a bit, Kid." Heyes continued, looking down at Curry's bare torso. "Wouldn't want to offend a lady, now would we?"

Lily snorted in a very unladylike manner. "This I gotta see," she said with a laugh. "Oh, no, wait. I already did see." She smirked at the Kid. "I'm afraid there ain't much there to offend a lady."

Heyes choked down laughter, which he wisely, though not too successfully, tried to turn into a cough. "Okay, okay," he said quickly, seeing the hurt and angry look on his cousin's face.

"Why you…!" Curry began, clenching his fists tightly.

"Uh-uh, Kid," interrupted Heyes. "Ain't right to be insultin' a lady, even one as fickle as Lily here."

"She ain't no lady, Heyes," protested the Kid. "She don't deserve no politeness."

"Maybe not, Kid, but we'd best concentrate on gettin' out of here." Heyes said.

"Ya think?" Curry said, sarcastically.

Heyes, pretending he didn't hear that last remark, sat down on the bed and began examining the cuffs. After a moment, he said, "No problem, Kid," and reached down into his boot to pull out a thin, piece of metal. Brandishing the blade in triumph, Heyes turned to Lily, and, rather pompously, said, "I would suggest in the future, ma'am, that you thoroughly search your prisoners for any other weapons that could be hidden on their person." He slipped the blade into the lock of the handcuffs and after a couple of minutes Kid felt his hands slip free.

"About time," Kid muttered as he started rubbing the ache out of his arms. Red welts and cuts ringed his wrists. "Don't think that I'll forget this, Heyes."

"Now, Kid. Don't get a sore head. I was just havin' a little fun," Heyes said.

Kid glared at his cousin. "That ain't exactly my idea of fun."

Heyes stood up and stepped away from the bed. "Well," he said, briskly rubbing his hands together. "I guess we best be movin' on before that deputy starts thinkin' twice about who the lovely Lily has holed up in here." He turned and gave Lily a polite bow.

She glowered at him, but couldn't stop her eyes from following the Kid as, standing up, he wrapped the sheet around his hips and walked across the room to get his clothes. With his back turned, he dropped the sheet and quickly pulled on his pants.

Heyes watched Lily watching the Kid and noticed the reluctant appreciation in her eyes as Curry got dressed. He smiled. His cousin certainly did have a way with the ladies.

Turning back, Kid slipped on his shirt. He gathered up the rest of his things and came back to the bed.

"What are we gonna do with her?" he asked, sitting down to pull on his boots. "Leave her here?" He stood up to button his shirt. He tucked it into his pants and reached for his gunbelt. He still felt naked without it firmly strapped to his hip.

Heyes pondered Lily a moment. "You got any better ideas?"

Fully dressed now, Kid looked at Lily with a grave expression. "I could think of a couple of things," he said.

"Now, Kid, it's gotta be legal. We don't want to mess up our chance for amnesty," said Heyes.

"I suppose," said Kid, looking a little disappointed. "But she knows who we are."

"Yeah, but she ain't gonna tell nobody." Heyes turned to face their prisoner. "Are you, Lily?" He gave her his most charming smile. Sometimes Kid really envied those dimples. He'd seen them work magic at times.

"What's gonna stop me?" asked Lily, belligerently.

"Yeah, Heyes, what _is_ gonna stop her?" Kid asked.

"Why, her own pride, Kid," Heyes said simply, as if that were the most obvious answer ever.

"Huh?" said Kid, thinking it wasn't obvious at all.

Heyes shook his head patiently. "Now, Kid, and I do say this in all modesty," he turned and smiled sweetly at Lily. "…we _are_ the two most notorious _and_ most wanted outlaws in the west. As we witnessed earlier from Lily's…uh…_upset_…"

Lily practically snarled at Heyes.

Heyes ignored her and continued. "…she has a small problem with…oh…shall we say, credibility?" He raised his eyebrows and looked at Lily for confirmation.

She curled her lip and looked away. "Idiot," she murmured.

"What'd she call you?" asked Kid.

Heyes shook his head. "Never mind her. As I was saying, if she told anyone about us, then they'd come get us and she wouldn't get the credit that she wants so badly. Some _man_," he inclined his head slightly, "would take all her glory; the glory that she needs in order to be taken seriously in this business."

He looked her directly in the eye. "Ain't that right, Lily?"

Lily tilted her chin up and stubbornly returned his gaze. "Yeah, that's right," she admitted, her tone sullen. "But don't think I'm finished with you two. I found you once, you can bet that I'll find you again." She struggled against her bonds. "Lousy, stinkin' men…" she started.

Kid looked at Heyes. "I think I've heard this before," he said.

Heyes nodded. "You're absolutely right, Kid." He pulled a bandanna out of his pocket and lifted his eyebrows questioningly.

Kid grinned. He took the bandanna from Heyes and walked over to the still ranting Lily.

"…and another thing, being a woman don't mean I can't…"

Kid bent down in front of her. "Lily," he said. "Shut up." He kissed her quick and hard and she'd barely had time to catch her breath before he shoved the bandanna in her mouth. Then he quickly tied his own bandanna around her head and stepped back to admire his handiwork.

"A job well done, Kid, if I do say so myself," Heyes said.

They both stood there a moment watching Lily thrash about, obviously furious at them. The Kid flinched after a particularly virulent stream of unintelligible yelling. "I'm glad I couldn't understand that," he said.

"I'm shocked to think such things could come out of a lady's mouth," agreed Heyes, evenly.

"Like I told you before, Heyes…" started Kid.

"I know, I know…" said Heyes.

"…she ain't no lady!" they both finished in unison.

Lily gave a muffled scream of frustration. The boys gave her their most appealing grins and, picking up their saddlebags, turned to leave. As they headed towards the door, Kid put a hand on Heyes' arm.

"Do you really think we should just leave her?" he asked.

Heyes gave a sigh. "Kid, you always were a sucker for the ladies," he said. He turned back to Lily. "But I guess you're right. I suppose we should do something. I mean she might starve to death waitin' on someone to find her."

"I wouldn't want that on my conscience," Kid said in a solemn tone.

"I guess not," agreed Heyes. He looked thoughtful a moment before his eyes lit up. "I know," he said happily. "When we get to the next town, we'll send a telegram back to the hotel manager telling him to check the room. When he does, he'll discover our favorite female bounty hunter and let her go." Heyes spread his hands and grinned.

Kid returned the grin. "Heyes," he said. "You're brilliant, as usual."

They both looked proudly at Lily. She started cursing again or what the boys assumed was cursing since they couldn't understand a word she was saying.

Heyes looked a little crestfallen. "I thought it was a good idea," he said.

"It is a good idea, Heyes," said Kid, giving his cousin a supportive pat on the back. He looked a little apprehensively at Lily struggling in the chair. "But maybe we should wait until morning to send that telegram. Give us a bit more of a head start."

Heyes looked at their furious captive. "Uh, maybe you're right, Kid. A healthy woman like her won't starve to death in one night."

Kid nodded agreement. "Shall we go, then?" He gestured towards the door.

"I'm ready if you are," said Heyes. They turned their backs on the still raging Lily. Heyes opened the door and exited first. Kid stopped and turned back one last time.

"It was an interestin' evening, ma'am, but you'll forgive me if I don't ask you out again anytime soon." He tipped his hat politely and closed the door behind him, cutting off her muffled curses.

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The next morning after a good night's sleep and a large, filling breakfast in the small town of Willow Creek, Heyes and Curry strolled over to the telegraph office. A small, balding man, with narrow glasses perched precariously near the end of his rather long nose, looked up as they entered.

"Mornin'," said Heyes, amiably. "We'd like to send a telegram, please."

The man peered at them so intently, Curry began to feel a little itchy. He glanced at Heyes who was smiling politely at the clerk.

"You Smith and Jones, by any chance?" the clerk asked.

"Who wants to know?" asked Kid, suspiciously.

Heyes narrowed his eyes, but just said, mildly, "Why, yes we are. Why do you ask?"

The clerk grunted, watching the Kid nervously. He picked up a telegram and handed it to Heyes. "This is for you. Came yesterday afternoon."

Heyes and Curry exchanged a puzzled glance. Who would be sending them a telegram? No one knew they were here.

"This can't be good," Kid muttered.

Heyes hesitated, then, taking the telegram, asked, "Are you sure this is for us?"

"Well, you said you was Smith and Jones, right?" The clerk examined a slip of paper filled with cramped writing. "Description fits. Two men, tall, skinny--one dark-headed, one blond. Also says," he continued, reading from the paper, "they'd be all smug-lookin' and full of themselves." The clerk peered closely at the boys over the top of his glasses, his eyes shifting back and forth between them. "Yeah, I reckon that's you two, all right."

Heyes and Curry gave each other a disbelieving look. Heyes opened the telegram and began reading. His eyes widened as he scanned the page.

"What?" asked Kid.

Heyes read it out loud.

**Dear Mr. Smith:**

**Got free of matters that bound me sooner than expected. Have a few tricks up my own sleeves. Will be seeing you soon. Tell Mr. Jones we have unfinished business.**

**Sincerely,**

**Lily Morgan**

Curry stared at Heyes, open-mouthed. "How…?"

Heyes shrugged. "No, idea, Thaddeus, but you gotta give her credit. She's pretty good. For a lady, that is."

"She ain't no lady," Kid growled. "And anyway, what does she mean by unfinished business?"

"Now, Kid, what do you think she means?" Heyes said, mischievously.

Curry frowned a minute, then sudden understanding lit up his blue eyes. "Oh, no," he said, unconsciously rubbing the fading marks on his wrists. "Uh-uh…no way. She's crazy if she thinks she's gettin' anywhere near me with those cuffs again!"

The clerk eyed them curiously as Kid's voice grew louder.

Heyes shushed his partner and pulled him toward the door. Outside, he said, "She may be crazy, Kid, but you got to admit she sure is easy on the eyes. It wasn't all bad, was it?"

"Well…" Kid said, remembering her soft, caressing hands, sliding slowly down…

Heyes grinned at the blush spreading over the Kid's face. "Like I said, Kid, you got a soft spot for the ladies."

Kid grimaced. "Yeah, right in the middle of my head."

Heyes laughed, clapping the Kid on the back. "I reckon you're right about that, cousin."

The End


End file.
